Finding My Loves Once Again

There is a question that I am asked often. It is a question that should be simple enough to answer, yet in recent months it has become increasingly difficult to answer without feeling like I am lying. It wouldn't be a lie that would really hurt anyone, but for me it's important enough to consider. This question is representative of who I am so, I suppose, I will let you in on what question it is that I speak of…

"What are your hobbies/interests?"

You see, to me a hobby and interest should be done at least SOME of the time and with SOME frequency. When someone asks my hobbies/interests the following is my typical response:

Reading

Writing

Horseback Riding

Photography

Drawing

Fishing

….

Yeah, what of those have I done much of in the past year … umm … none.

• I haven't ridden in 2+ years. I miss it so much, but I don't have the equipment or the access currently…
  
• I read a few verses a day or maybe even a few chapters, but there has been little to no real in depth reading of the Bible … nor really any reading for pleasure or enrichment other than grad school textbooks …
  
• Writing… Ha! I don't even do that… Just look at my blog… MAYBE one post a month…. I am not writing on the side… If I were you would read it here… Why? Because I like to share what I know, am learning, etc.
  
• Photography… Where's the time? Photo Excursions can take hours… Hours of daylight… Meet my schedule… It doesn't work… Those have been my excuses.
  
• Drawing… My sketchbook hasn't gotten much love recently… It had at least a 9 month break… I don't draw well, but I love word pictures and to doodle.
  
• Fishing has improved…. After an 8 year break (or so) I have started fishing again. It is wonderful.
  

So, I've decided that this has to change.

More photo trips.

More fishing fun.

More writing. Especially here.

More reading that is non-academic.

More drawing. Going to buy a new sketch book.

Horseback riding…well, if the opportunity presents itself.


Hold me to it please? Thanks!

...Random Can Be Good...

...As I tried to type the title mistyped and wrote:

...Random Can Be God...

So true.  Here's one example:

I was talking with my friend Rachel (Her Blog) on Skype today.  You see we live 3 hours away from each other and only talk through e-mail, phone, text, chat, and Skype most of the time/year.  I was talking about life and answering a few questions she had for me when randomly she says:

"Can I say something completely random?"

Without waiting for my response she then states...

"You need to learn how to enjoy breathing."

Breathing.

Hmm.... By definition breathing is many things.  Below are some of the definitions from dictionary.com for the word breathe.

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breathe

–verb (used without object)

1.

to take air, oxygen, etc., into the lungs and expel it; inhaleand exhale; respire.

3.

to pause, as for breath; take rest: How about giving me achance to breathe?

5.

to live; exist: Hardly a man breathes who has not knowngreat sorrow.

–verb (used with object)

15.

to allow to rest or recover breath: to breathe a horse.

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I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  This act of breathing.  I breathe every day many times, but that wasn't what she was referring to.  She said I needed to enjoy breathing.  More than that she said I needed to learn how to do so.  Breathing in the figurative sense as to  rest.  I really like definitions #3 & #5.  Breathing is living and existing.  It is pausing to take a breath and rest.  I rarely do that.  I shove my schedule so full sometimes that I cannot see straight.  I claim to enjoy it and like it.  I do to some extent, but every now and then I wonder what it would be like to set aside time for me to study the Bible, absorb God, get lost in prayer, etc.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go on a random photo trip again, not plan every visit I have with friends, spend time doing the things I am passionate about.

Sometimes I try to take time out for items such as the ones noted above, but then I feel restless and empty.  I feel that having "nothing" scheduled is bad.  She is exactly right.  I need to learn how to do this.  I must learn how to do this more often.  

Lessons from a 16-year-old.  This one is taken and noted.  I hope you too have learned to enjoy breathing. 

Learning to Play. Learning to Listen.

Recently, I began a journey. This journey for me is a long one. I am learning to play the guitar. Before I continue, you must understand something -- I am not musically inclined whatsoever. I cannot keep a steady beat unless I am swaying or tapping on my legs. If I attempt to clap with my hands for long I will be sure to lose the rhythm that I had. So to say the least this could be interesting.

I do have a point, however, may I expound upon another area of my life?

Beginning about a month ago, I started running the soundboard for our fellowship meetings at CCF. I've noted that I have no rhythm, but I did not state that I do not have an ear for music either. I love to listen to it, and to listen to it, and to listen to it... did I mention listen to it? But that does not mean that I can tell good from bad, other than what is very, very obvious.

Onto the point...

I have been playing a lot, and I have been running the sound board about 3 hours weekly. I have found that as I do both I become more and more in tune with the changes. I have begun to realize when something needs adjusted, and I have started to catch the rhythm just a little more easily. Am I at a point where I am perfect? Definitely not. I, however, am getting to understand and know the ins and outs of each just a little better. I am noticing it more easily and frequently.

With that, I give you something to think about. If we were to choose to get into the word more and more, even when we feel it is doing nothing...If we were to pray with more frequency and be more determined to share our hearts...If we consciously chose to be more positive and to look to God in more situations...If we chose to not go with the things that make us happy in the moment, but look to our Creator and His plan and choose to follow it fervently...If we were to do these things, would we become more in tune with out Creator? Would we feel His presence more frequently, and therefore wonder where He is less? Would we begin, just as I did with the musical end of my life, to notice the small things just a little more but gain confidence all at the same time? Would we learn to acknowledge more quickly the adjustments that need to be made in our lives, rather than expending so much energy on something we do not need? And would we be happier, because if our whole goal is to honor and serve Christ...then wouldn't drawing closer to Him inevitably make us more transparent and joyful? If we were more exposed to Him, wouldn't we become more like Him with more consistency?

Main Thought: As we become more in tune with Him, we will learn to walk more closely to Christ's footsteps and will begin listening with more acute ears.

I think I might just try to apply this in my own life a little more often.