So, I have a debate inside my head that won't cease. I cannot understand why I have such intolerance of drinking. You see, I am tempted many times over to drink in a social manner, yet I have not. I can be okay with others drinking to some degree, but I fight with judgement over and over again. I fight with hurt and anger, too. I don't believe that drinking is wrong Biblically. I don't. I believe being drunk or irresponsible is. I, also, don't agree with drinking around others who struggle with alcoholism due to the temptation, because doing so could lead that person to stumble. I do not agree with underage drinking either as it is the law not to. Yet when it comes to close friends who do drink it angers and worries me. My stomach ties itself in knots of worry and I fight inside myself with the emotions I feel. Many times I have even found myself fighting away tears. For me, I choose not to drink. I fear alcoholism. I fear addition. I have an addictive nature, and some of my family has struggled with alcoholism. I have heard the horror stories that go along with that. I don't ever want to end up there, and I never want to use it as a way to escape. I worry that my friends who do drink will begin losing the inhibitions that they had and will do something that they will regret. I just worry, and I worry way too much. It isn't needed, and truthfully it isn't at all necessary. I have a really hard time dealing with the knowledge that friends do drink to escape or have in the past done things while drinking or being drunk that they shouldn't have/didn't want to/regret. This all brings me to yet another question. What is the point? Why walk a fence that you may fall off of if you have any negative past at all with it? I suppose...well, I know... I could ask myself the same question with other areas of and things in my life. I don't understand why it is so necessary or even such a big deal. What makes it so worthwhile? Some say that having one doesn't do anything, and I know that it does little... yet, I have a hard time believing there is nothing different... or maybe I have a hard time with the fact that they believe it does nothing. As often as this topic has come up in the past months with me, I cannot just pass it off as nothing. There is a reason I need to get myself lined out on this. I have personal convictions, but there are those who do not. I theoretically am okay with this, but why when I hear that someone is do I get so edgy, worried, frustrated, or whatever other emotions arise? It's almost like a double-standard and I don't want that. I tell someone I believe it is okay to drink, but not to be drunk... Yet, it is I who feels so judgmental and frustrated with the whole matter and this whole topic.
Frustrating.
Andrea- Brian and I have talked about this a lot because my family is big into "social" drinking as entertainment. We did not drink around them for awhile because of our convictions but that really isolated us and made us out to be the "religious" ones. They often felt our exemption was judgement. However, one of the main reasons why we didn't drink around them was because I was not of age (even though they allowed it). So for us, we realized it was more of a "law" thing than a "religious" thing. So once I became of age (and Brian withheld because of me even though he is 2 years older) we realized it really "lightened the mood" when we were around them. Jesus met people where they were and this was just meeting my family where they were. They didn't feel our silent conviction anymore and were more responsive to us with a beer in our hands than without one. I have never been drunk, but I think drinking is okay as long as it is indeed not an escape. I compare it to meeting with friends for coffee... it's more about the environment than the beverage. And there is a sophisticated way to do it. Anyways, my thoughts is that it makes us more "human" which is what Jesus was all about. In fact, his first miracle was changing water to wine! :) I hope that gives you a bit of perspective on your internal struggle. But again, you need to gauge for yourself because indeed it can be a temptation that can go too far...
ReplyDeleteI also believe it is okay to drink, but not to be drunk. However I have done a few of the embarassing "regrets" not a lot of them, but any at all is now just an embarassment to look back on. I have realized though that there are people I can have a social drink around, and then people that I can never drink around at all because the temptation is to go to far, and some people try to push you past one drink. I think it depends on the envirament to a point, but then also on the individual. If you are convicted to never touch a drink, that is probably the best way to go. I don't think it is wrong to worry about other believers drinking, and I also think it is ok if you talk to people that you love on what your viewpoint of it is. They may not know that they are causing a stumbling block for others. It says that we need to edify one another, it seems like a good thing to talk (not argue) through our convictions.
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