The last month has been one of the hardest of my life. I've made decisions and been forced to make decisions that I am not completely sure I wanted to make. I have proven once again to myself that I am far from perfect, but that God is forgiving and He will pull me through even though sometimes it seems hopeless. I have lost my temper more in the past month than I have since the summer of 2008. Sometimes it has felt as if God wasn't there, but somewhere deep within I knew without a doubt that He was. I have called on Him and have cried to Him. I have thanked Him and have yelled at Him. I have rejoiced in Him and have found strength in Him. I have stumbled, and I have felt as if I were losing it. In the end, however, I am still here, and though there are negative thoughts they are lessening. I hit a breaking point yesterday, and cried for hours. I think that I came out stronger though. I still need His help, and I need it every moment. Maybe this past month has been to show me that again. I am looking forward to the growth that is to come, but I know it isn't going to be easy. I may have to make more changes, in fact, I know I will, but finding His direction in what changes to make is so very important. I am searching for this now concerning many things...friendships, living situations, accountability, outreach, etc. I guess in a nutshell that is where I am....
I made a video for CCF this Tuesday today. Took over 8 hours, but it pretty much rocks. It's actual footage of all of the officers and I'm super excited about it. : ) Yay!
Your video turned out great! And I hope that things get easier for you. I am here if you need me.
ReplyDeleteI missed ccf so I didn't get to see the video. I'm disapointed! I hope things work out for you, decisions are so difficult. I'll keep you in my prayers. Love you! :)
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